An Open Letter To My Fellow Travelers.

Dear Fellow Traveler,

If not for the joy of the Lord, I would undoubtedly have been quite annoyed that you are sitting smugly in your assigned seats much before your row was called, knowing that you were relying on the fact that our frazzled gate agent was much too busy to send your presumptuous self, Coach bag and all, to the back of the line.  If not for the joy of the Lord.  You know the best part?  The part that I cherish?  The little nugget that I find absolutely delicious?  That would have to be the fact that because you decided to get on early, the poor grandmother that’s sitting ten rows back whose row was called now has to wait while you try to cram your oversized Louis Vuitton bag into the overhead compartment which you decided not to check because of bag fees, or even gate check because then you’d have to wait, well, at the gate.  If not for the joy of the Lord.


    Oh don’t think I’ve forgotten about you, Ms. “La Vida Dormida” , who has decided that there is no need to “rush” off the plane.  I know since you’re in the aisle seat, that basically makes you “tribe leader” in your reckoning.  You see, normally, I would be thankful that in your wise benevolence you have decided for the rest of us plebeians in your row that it would behoove us to take a chill pill and let everyone else on the plane deboard before we move a muscle, but as it turns out, I have a really tight connection that requires that I skip lunch, sprint through the terminal, and pray the line at U.S. Customs moves fast so that I don’t have to sleep in an airport tonight.  If not for the joy of the Lord, my friend, if not for the joy of the Lord.

   If not for the joy of the Lord, sir, I would feel awfully tempted to flick you in the back of the head.  No, it’s not because of your ill fitting toupee, or the obnoxious way you talk to the flight attendant.  It’s more the fact that I am becoming increasingly convinced that you are deliberately timing your seat reclining to coincide with my placement of my beverage.  Now, I don’t mean to accuse you of anything, but come on.  The third time really started to make me wonder.  If not for the JOY OF THE LORD.

                           Sincerely Yours,
                                                     The chap in 24F



   I admit, I may have come off a bit intense in the open letter above, but in my defense, I’ve been in a lot of airports this month, including two days in them as I write this, and my patience has been a wee bit stretched as of late.  Airports seem to bring out the true nature of people.  The obnoxious get more obnoxious, the outgoing get super outgoing, and the withdrawn get withdrawn.  As for me, when I’m in travel mode, I’d like to say I’m out there befriending the world, but the truth is slightly different.  To be honest, while I try and smile at everyone I make eye contact with and thank all the service employees, I may be what you can call a “distant traveller”.  Not because I travel to far distances, but rather because in my effort to make the trip as straight forward as possible, I often unintentionally remove the element that could either mess up my trip or make it the best trip ever; human interaction.  Looking around at my gate waiting area, I realize I’m not the only one.  There are actually people standing uncomfortably because they would have to sit in one of the seats that currently serves as a barrier between two groups of people.  They would have to make contact.  In this building full of human souls from around the world, most of us are afraid of touching each other.

   Truthfully, this bothers me at times.  I’ve attempted to build my life helping people, being a part of other’s lives, spending the bulk of my time at home invested in seeing other people reach the destiny that God has called them to.  The thing is, I’m good at traveling.  I’m fast, I’m efficient, I know where I’m going.  I have my laptop out instantly at security.  i place it in the tray next to my already removed watch and the slip on shoes that I wore for such an occasion.  All my pocket change has been removed before the trip and placed in a special compartment in my bag.  I’ve worn a belt that does not set off the metal detector.  I get behind people that I know are like me. Quick.  Efficient. Detached.  They won’t slow me down.  They won’t panic.  They won’t hold up the line.  Is this what I really should be concerned about?

   I recently accompanied my lovely fiancee on a flight from Little Rock to Dallas.  Even in such a short trip, I discovered something about myself.  Primarily, I don’t like slowing down.  Although Tiah is a very good traveling companion, one more person slows you down.  Especially a female person!  It was then that I realized something.  I didn’t miss anything.  Slowing down a little didn’t hurt.  Not only that, but I realized what I had been missing; someone to laugh with, to converse with, to share the experience with, and honestly, after watching her board her flight home as I went the other direction, I miss it.  Of course I miss her dearly, she's amazing, but I also miss having a companion.  Life alone is incredibly efficient.  On paper, it is often way less complicated.  The thing is, I miss those complications.  Because it’s quite possibly in those complications and wrinkles of life that the best moments are found hiding.  I recently thought about how much time I spend in life sleeping.  If I didn’t need to sleep to live, would I still do it?  What about eating?  One side of me says that it would be far more efficient. The other side of me reminds me that if I didn’t eat, I’d miss out on such wonderful flavors, experiences, memories, and treasured connection with loved ones.  This side also reminds me that if I never slept, I’d never dream.  That’s something I don’t think I can live without.

   Alright, so maybe there's no such thing as a "naughty" or "nice" song, but I was trying to fit a Christmas theme and it was the best I could do on short notice.  I love Christmas music, but while there are some that are timeless and beautiful, we're all aware there are a few that don't make the cut and may deserve the proverbial yuletide axe.  Without further ado, my list of Naughty or Nice Christmas Songs.

The Naughty List

Little Drummer Boy:

   Ok, so the spirit of this song is great, I know.  This kid doesn’t have anything of material value so he gives to Jesus the one thing he does have, his ability to beat on a drum.  This is a great message, teaching us that God is asking for our best, and He values things differently than everyone else, but come on!  Put yourself in the original nativity scene for a moment.  Mary is exhausted after giving birth to a baby boy in a stable.  Perhaps this baby has finally drifted to sleep, and everyone is having a quiet of moment of peaceful adoration.  At just this moment, some kid comes along with his poorly made drum, asking to give an extended percussion solo as a gift to the child.  Because as we all know, there is nothing a newborn baby and mother like better than someone loudly banging on a drum during nap time.  I suppose the issue here is whether we give gifts for our benefit or the one receiving the gift.  Maybe both?  Next time kid; write the baby a poem.

I Saw Mom Kissing Santa Claus

   Let me just say I hope that I can someday go a whole December without hearing one Santa song, so I’m already biased against this one.  That being said, what were we thinking?  We’re singing about a kid witnessing his MARRIED MOTHER kissing a BEARDED STRANGER and innocently saying that he hopes dad doesn’t find out.  That’s messed up.  As one guy on Twitter put it, this is a song about a kid learning that celebrities play by different rules than the rest of us.  What a sad, traumatizing tale.  That kid’s going to need counseling.

We Wish You A Merry Christmas

   This song starts out wonderfully; a group of carolers wishing others a merry Christmas and a happy new year.  Sounds unselfish and joyous right?  Well that’s true until the second verse.  Suddenly, this amiable crowd of well-wishers digress into a mob demanding “Figgy Pudding” and demanding it “right here”. 

Now bring us some figgy pudding
Bring us some figgy pudding
Bring us some figgy pudding
And bring it right here!

First of all; figgy pudding?  Really?  Second; you don’t have to be jerks.  Just ask nicely, and you’ll be amazed at what people will do.  Bossy carolers.

The In-Betweens

Have Yourself A Merry Little Christmas

   I love this song.  In fact, it’s probably one of my favorite of the non-carol Christmas songs.  However, it loses some of its luster at one point in the song.  I love the idea of being together with loved ones at Christmas, but when the song says, “In the end we all will be together, if the fates allow”, what does that mean?  First of all, I would think it was ridiculous if it said if fate allows, because I don’t believe in the force of fate, but rather in God.  However, when we say “fates”, it’s more of an allusion to a ancient pagan idea of “gods” guiding history to fit their whims.  What are we, in ancient Rome?  How will I book my plane tickets?  Shall I cut open an animal and examine its entrails for omens?  I’m not sure if Expedia would accept that as a reasonable excuse for cancelling a flight.  Plus, I always feel a little condescending when saying, "Have yourself a merry little Christmas".
 

I Saw Three Ships

   This is a pretty cool song, but what in the world was the writer experiencing?  He claims to have seen, in landlocked Judea I might add, three ships sailing which carried Mary and Jesus.  Why three?  I don’t know.  Why ships?  I don’t know.  Who is this guy who is "seeing" these ships?  I don’t know, but whatever he's smoking, he needs to quit.

Bring A Torch, Jeannette, Isabella

   Great song, but I have a hard time picturing anyone in 1st century Judea being named Jeannette or Isabella.  Just my thoughts.

The Nice List

 O Come, O Come Immanuel

   What a beautiful song that wonderfully captures both the pain and expectation felt by a nation held captive, awaiting a promised Redeemer.  I hope that my life is filled with this same attitude of divine expectation.

O Holy Night

   This song’s first verse and chorus are beautiful, but it gets more majestic and powerful with every subsequent chorus.  “Christ is the Lord!  Oh praise His name forever!  His power and glory evermore proclaim!”  How powerful is that?

What Child Is This
Beside the hauntingly beautiful Greensleaves tune that this song employs are powerful statements like, “This, this is Christ the King”, a statement that rings through history.

Hark The Harold Angels Sing

   The Wesley brothers may have changed history with their powerful preaching, but it was this hymn by Charles Wesley whose triumphant melody and deep theological lyrics have remained a Christmas classic through centuries.

Joy To The World

   "Let every heart prepare Him room!" Enough said.

O Come All Ye Faithful

   I think the chorus, “O come let us adore Him” is among one of the best songs to capture the idea of Christmas as a time of worship.  When the King of kings is present, what choice do you have but to come and bow down in adoration?

  Well, those are my total unsolicited opinions.  Now bring me some figgy pudding!

An Abbreviated Life?

  I really hope I’m not a shallow person.  Truth be told, I find a good deep conversation to be one of my favorite ways to spend my time, as many of my close friends will tell you.  Unfortunately, there are a whole lot less of those “close friends” than the scores of almost non-existent relationships that I can claim on social sites like Facebook and Twitter.  Sure, these sites have been wonderful for maintaining relationships with people that I would otherwise have difficulty keeping up with due to time or distance.  Before Facebook, these relationships would have fallen to the healthy, natural, “circle-of-life” of friendships.  Those so-called “friends” that you haven’t thought about or talked to for 15 years would have moved on, forming their own healthy relationships and leaving you room in your life for the people that matter to you.  This life cycle has been thwarted by Facebook.  Let’s ask ourselves, “what would this be like outside of Facebook?”  Imagine with me, if you will, the following scenario.

Derek’s phone rings, he interrupts his conversation with his fiancé and answers it.

Derek:  Hello?
Caller: Hey bro, s’up? (turns out this caller is one of those people that uses affectionate "bro terms" waaayy too much)
Derek:  Who is this?
Caller: holla back.
Derek: I did. I said who is this?
Caller:  This is Bryan!!!
Derek:  Bryan who?
Caller: Bryan Kirby!!!!! Your third-best friend in Kindergarten!
Derek:  Oh yeah, I kind of remember that!  What can I do for you, Bryan?
Bryan: Man, just wanted to confirm our friendship.  Just say you’re my friend.
Derek:I haven’t really seen you in a long time, I wouldn’t really consider us “friends”, per se...
Bryan:  Just SAY OK.
Derek: Well, ok... Do you need money or something?
Bryan:  DUDE, check out these pictures of me last weekend!  WASTED!!
Derek:  What pictures?  You know what, never mind, I have no interest in that.  Forget it.
Bryan: No prob, broseph.  Faxing them over right now.
Derek: I really don’t want those
Bryan: I’m coming over!  I’m going to stick them on your wall.  I’ll write something on there too!  It’ll be funny!  No, awesome!  No, no, funny AND awesome!
Derek: Why would you do that?  I don’t want stuff on my walls.
Bryan: Already on my way, brohame!
Derek:  Look, I don’t mean to be rude, but my fiancé is here so...
Bryan:  Oh no problem man, I get your drift.  I’ll phone her next.  We can be friends, because we both know you!
Derek: That’s really not what I meant...
Bryan:  I have 700 friends!!!!
Derek: Good for you.
Bryan:  Want to know which Backstreet Boy I’m most like?  I took a quiz!
Derek: I have no interest in that.
Bryan: Want to know how my fake farm is doing?
Derek: Fake farm?
Bryan: Yes.  It’s awesome.
Derek: No.  Not at all.
Bryan:  Want to join the mafia?
Derek: WHAT?!?!?  No!!  Why would you even ask that?
Bryan: Status Update:  I’m eating the MOST AMAZING cheese crackers EVER!!
Derek: That’s...that’s great.
Bryan:  Do you like that?
Derek: I’m sorry?
Bryan: Why don’t you make a comment about my status?  At least say you like it.
Derek:  I’d rather not.
Bryan:  That was me on Saturday.
Derek:  What are you talking about?
Bryan:  In the grocery store.  I poked you.
Derek:  That was you!?
Bryan: Yep.  You didn’t poke me back.
Derek:  That’s right I didn’t! Look, I'm not o.k. with this, man.
Bryan:  Just letting you know I’m around.  Always around.  Watching you from a distance.  Checking out who your friends are.  Looking at your family pictures.  Always lurking...
Derek:  That’s it.  This is over.
Bryan:  Are you un-friending me?  Not cool man!
Derek: *click*

  You’re right. It would never happen.  At least not without resulting in a restraining order.  The truth is, I like that Facebook and Twitter allow me a way to retain contact with people I never get to see, particularly the friends all over the world that I miss and would love to maintain some degree of a relationship with.  I’m just concerned that there are growing number of people that think they know me, but really don’t.  Most of my current Facebook usage now is merely my Twitter feed being published as a Facebook status update.  If you’re unfamiliar with Twitter, it is a site that allows you to publish your thoughts, limited to 140 characters.  I find this a creative outlet for the funny, random and occasionally meaningful thoughts that I would want to share with my friends.

 

  Here’s the only problem; there are many people who will know me only through those 140 character thoughts.  When I speak at church or at public events, I’ll often take 30-45 minutes to fully communicate my point when I’m talking about something significant.  What would make me think I could do it in 140 characters?  These are most often very brief thoughts and comments that I might bring up if you and I were taking a walk together.  I would comment on something I saw, make a funny remark here and there, and perhaps bring up a scripture that I’ve really had on my heart lately.  Of course, I would hope that our conversation wouldn’t be limited to those brief comments.  Herein lies the problem.  I don’t want people to assume I live a 140 character life with 140 character thoughts, and go through life thinking of short, witty comments that don’t go too deep past the surface.  My real friends know that, but I’m pretty sure most of my Facebook friends are beginning to think I’m just a guy who makes snarky comments about things I come across.  This is the challenge of our modern social-networking world.  It has greatly broadened our network of relationships.  Unfortunately, with broadening has come a new level of shallowness in those same relationships.  What’s the solution?  I have no clue.

  I only hope that that I never grow to a point in my life where I spend any real amount of time or energy on something that has ceased to glorify God.  I want my whole life, all of my strength, my energy, my thought, to be invested in the cause of Christ and His glory.  Right now, I think these sites could be a tool for that purpose, however if Facebook & Twitter cease to meet that goal, I would hope that I would have the guts to shut it down.  Until then, if you’re my friend on Facebook, or if you follow me on Twitter, drop me a line.  Let’s make this meaningful.

Whoever  speaks, is to do so as one who is speaking the utterances of God; whoever serves is to do so as one who is serving by the strength which God supplies; so that in all things God may be glorified through Jesus Christ - 1 Peter 4:11

Photos courtesy of sickfacebook.com

If Jesus Heals The Lame, Explain This.

   There's a boxed game sitting on a low shelf, mostly out of view, in a local Christian bookstore.  It would appear that the store has no real grand scheme to promote this product.  The truth is that they don't have any such aspirations.  The reason I know this is because in addition to my life as a pastor and all the other ministry stuff, I have been part of this retail company since before it began.  This means that I've been to many industry trade shows, seen all the catalogues, and met all of the sales reps.  In fact, I can tell you why this box sits in such a lowly state.  We never really wanted to sell it.  To be truthful, if not for the fact that we were awarded the title of "Store of The Year" one fateful evening,with its added benefits of free product shipped to us from various Christian companies, we would never have to look at this game every day.  I recall first seeing this game in a catalogue, as my colleague and I stared transfixed at the inherit beauty that lies in something so “bad”, promising ourselves we would never carry it.

 The Staff Love It!

    Let me explain.  This game, aptly named “Salvation Challenge”, gives each player one million dollars in “Kingdom Cash” with the goal to give it away.  What must you do before you give this cash away?  Why, get saved of course!  Now I realize that you must be on the edge of your seat with one question on your eager mind; “WHAT MUST I DO TO BE SAVED?”  Well it’s really quite a process, so pay attention.  FIRST, you must land on the cross.  Of course.  If you by any chance believe this to be the extent of your obligation in order to be born again, you would be extremely wrong.  Once you’ve landed on the cross, you must say “Jesus Save Me”, and then, and only then will you place a sticker on your forehead, go to the river Jordan to be baptized and be permitted to give $50,000 to the missionary fund.  That’s right, I said place a sticker on your forehead.  While you may be content with simply giving $50,000 to missionaries, don’t forget that the point of this game is to give all of your cash away.  If you want to give more after your dramatic “conversion experience”, then you could “stand up and shout at the top of your lungs, ‘Jesus Save Me’” and you would be able to give $250,000 away.  The third option is much more sinister.  If you refuse to say “Jesus Save Me”, you will proceed to the Deliverance Ministry square and take a card.  Trust me, you don’t want to go to the Deliverance Ministry square.

  Do you think you have the hang of it?  Well hold on one second there, my eager friend.  Here’s the tricky part; blessings are bad.  You’ve read correctly, they are bad news.  It’s really quite logical really, your goal is to give all of your money away.  For someone to “bless” you with a “love gift” works against your goal.  If you make a wrong move in this game, you are in danger of being “blessed” by other players giving you a $20,000 “love gift.  Oh the horror.  Here’s how you, God forbid, could be “blessed”:

• Do not stand up when required.
• Do not clap & rejoice when a player gets “saved”.
• Do not stay silent when a speaker is speaking
• Do not display your money clearly on the table

  Among the highlights are the “Heresy Square” where, when landed upon, all players must shout “HERESY!” before sending the player to the “Deliverance Square”.  The best part is, that this game advertises itself as a game where you can “invite an unsaved friend”.  Because pointing and shouting “heretic” at a potential seeker is one of the best ways to win them over.   Let’s not forget the “Praise and Worship Square” where all “Saved” players must stand up and “sing a short hymn, chorus, or carol to the glory of God”.  Warning; no “unsaved” players may join in.   It would be in your best interest to join in the singing, my friend.  You wouldn’t want to be “blessed”.

   This is just one of many examples of merchandise in the Christian world that many of us would categorize as “cheesy” or “lame”, and we might not be far off.  Scripture socks, Christian chapstick, and movies that shouldn’t have made it to Beta.  As my boss says, “we need to police ourselves” in the products we choose to carry.  Although we admittedly carry products that the staff find less than desirable, there is certainly a line of ridiculousness that we will not willingly cross.  All of these things tempt us to take a position of spiritual snobbery that allows us to view ourselves as somehow more sophisticated in our application of just what products need to be “Christianized”.  The problem is, while a discerning spirit is of great value and there is a definite distaste associated with turning Jesus into a brand, I believe we at times overstep the areas that God has asked us to judge.
  
   A friend of mine once posed the question, smirk affixed on their face, “what would Jesus think of this stuff”, and my immediate reaction was to roll my eyes and scoff.  My next reaction, which should have been my first, was to actually consider the question.  What would Jesus think about this stuff?  On one hand, we can picture Him clearing the temple with a homemade whip, driving the merchants and moneychangers out of the temple.  It’s important to remember, however, that these folks had not only set up in the temple, they were “thieves”.  Their excessive pricing and exchange rates was designed for the single purpose of taking a larger slice of the money that was meant for God.  Blatantly ripping sincere worshippers off did not sit well with our Lord, who was consumed with zeal for the house of God.  It’s easy and even amusing to criticize the makers of some of these Christian products until you go to a trade show and meet them face to face.  Sure, at times it may be a major company producing mass amounts of products, stamping scriptures on a cheaply made product, for which I have little sympathy.  Often, however, it is one or two people who had such a passion to share the good news about Jesus in the best way they know how that they poured their lives into creating an instrument to achieve this goal.  At this point, it becomes increasingly difficult to scoff despite the “cheesiness” of their product.

   I remember how my friend and I laughed without end at the strange experience of seeing the Precious Moments headquarters in Carthage, Missouri after closing time.  After dark, all of those already creepy Precious Moments figures take on a new level of strange.  Upon viewing the chapel, I pitied the men that were forced to be married here and forever be reminded that the greatest day of their life was surrounded by Precious Moments figures.  Would they be able to show the wedding photos without embarrassment?  Just at that moment, a plaque outside the chapel caught my eye.  It was from the creator of the Precious Moments line describing how he hoped this chapel would bring peace and the love of Christ to any who would visit.  Don’t get me wrong, I still thought the place was incredibly amusing, but I also had a new perspective on the man who created it.  He didn’t seem money-hungry or like a man looking to take advantage of unsuspectingly gullible Christians.  This was his way of sharing what he felt inside.  While I still would not want one of the figures in my home, I hold no malice towards them.  Someone enjoys them, and that’s something.

  Back to the question of what Jesus would think, we have to ask why the products or music or websites wouldn’t be cheesy to Him.  Heaven is full of beauty which would outshine our finest pieces of art.  The simplest melody of the angels is surely more complex and perfect than our grandest symphonies.  By those standards, anything we create would fall under heaven’s measure of quality.  If He enjoys our songs, our prayers, our art, then He must look past how dignified, sophisticated, original, or professional our work seems to our untrained eyes.  He must look at the heart of the worshipper, at the core reason that you felt the desire to create.  If we want to become like Him, perhaps it’s time we make a concerted effort to do the same.  Sure, sometimes we must laugh at ridiculous religious merchandise in order to keep ourselves from crying in horror, but perhaps we can also save ourselves from the error of overstepping our authority to judge the heart.  As the apostle Paul so eloquently stated, “What then? Only that in every way, whether in pretense or in truth, Christ is proclaimed; and in this I rejoice.”