An Abbreviated Life?
Monday, November 9, 2009 at 7:26PM 
I really hope I’m not a shallow person. Truth be told, I find a good deep conversation to be one of my favorite ways to spend my time, as many of my close friends will tell you. Unfortunately, there are a whole lot less of those “close friends” than the scores of almost non-existent relationships that I can claim on social sites like Facebook and Twitter. Sure, these sites have been wonderful for maintaining relationships with people that I would otherwise have difficulty keeping up with due to time or distance. Before Facebook, these relationships would have fallen to the healthy, natural, “circle-of-life” of friendships. Those so-called “friends” that you haven’t thought about or talked to for 15 years would have moved on, forming their own healthy relationships and leaving you room in your life for the people that matter to you. This life cycle has been thwarted by Facebook. Let’s ask ourselves, “what would this be like outside of Facebook?” Imagine with me, if you will, the following scenario.
Derek’s phone rings, he interrupts his conversation with his fiancé and answers it.
Derek: Hello?
Caller: Hey bro, s’up? (turns out this caller is one of those people that uses affectionate "bro terms" waaayy too much)
Derek: Who is this?
Caller: holla back.
Derek: I did. I said who is this?
Caller: This is Bryan!!!
Derek: Bryan who?
Caller: Bryan Kirby!!!!! Your third-best friend in Kindergarten!
Derek: Oh yeah, I kind of remember that! What can I do for you, Bryan?
Bryan: Man, just wanted to confirm our friendship. Just say you’re my friend.
Derek:I haven’t really seen you in a long time, I wouldn’t really consider us “friends”, per se...
Bryan: Just SAY OK.
Derek: Well, ok... Do you need money or something?
Bryan: DUDE, check out these pictures of me last weekend! WASTED!!
Derek: What pictures? You know what, never mind, I have no interest in that. Forget it.
Bryan: No prob, broseph. Faxing them over right now.
Derek: I really don’t want those
Bryan: I’m coming over! I’m going to stick them on your wall. I’ll write something on there too! It’ll be funny! No, awesome! No, no, funny AND awesome!
Derek: Why would you do that? I don’t want stuff on my walls.
Bryan: Already on my way, brohame!
Derek: Look, I don’t mean to be rude, but my fiancé is here so...
Bryan: Oh no problem man, I get your drift. I’ll phone her next. We can be friends, because we both know you!
Derek: That’s really not what I meant...
Bryan: I have 700 friends!!!!
Derek: Good for you.
Bryan: Want to know which Backstreet Boy I’m most like? I took a quiz!
Derek: I have no interest in that.
Bryan: Want to know how my fake farm is doing?
Derek: Fake farm?
Bryan: Yes. It’s awesome.
Derek: No. Not at all.
Bryan: Want to join the mafia?
Derek: WHAT?!?!? No!! Why would you even ask that?
Bryan: Status Update: I’m eating the MOST AMAZING cheese crackers EVER!!
Derek: That’s...that’s great.
Bryan: Do you like that?
Derek: I’m sorry?
Bryan: Why don’t you make a comment about my status? At least say you like it.
Derek: I’d rather not.
Bryan: That was me on Saturday.
Derek: What are you talking about?
Bryan: In the grocery store. I poked you.
Derek: That was you!?
Bryan: Yep. You didn’t poke me back.
Derek: That’s right I didn’t! Look, I'm not o.k. with this, man.
Bryan: Just letting you know I’m around. Always around. Watching you from a distance. Checking out who your friends are. Looking at your family pictures. Always lurking...
Derek: That’s it. This is over.
Bryan: Are you un-friending me? Not cool man!
Derek: *click*
You’re right. It would never happen. At least not without resulting in a restraining order. The truth is, I like that Facebook and Twitter allow me a way to retain contact with people I never get to see, particularly the friends all over the world that I miss and would love to maintain some degree of a relationship with. I’m just concerned that there are growing number of people that think they know me, but really don’t. Most of my current Facebook usage now is merely my Twitter feed being published as a Facebook status update. If you’re unfamiliar with Twitter, it is a site that allows you to publish your thoughts, limited to 140 characters. I find this a creative outlet for the funny, random and occasionally meaningful thoughts that I would want to share with my friends.
Here’s the only problem; there are many people who will know me only through those 140 character thoughts. When I speak at church or at public events, I’ll often take 30-45 minutes to fully communicate my point when I’m talking about something significant. What would make me think I could do it in 140 characters? These are most often very brief thoughts and comments that I might bring up if you and I were taking a walk together. I would comment on something I saw, make a funny remark here and there, and perhaps bring up a scripture that I’ve really had on my heart lately. Of course, I would hope that our conversation wouldn’t be limited to those brief comments. Herein lies the problem. I don’t want people to assume I live a 140 character life with 140 character thoughts, and go through life thinking of short, witty comments that don’t go too deep past the surface. My real friends know that, but I’m pretty sure most of my Facebook friends are beginning to think I’m just a guy who makes snarky comments about things I come across. This is the challenge of our modern social-networking world. It has greatly broadened our network of relationships. Unfortunately, with broadening has come a new level of shallowness in those same relationships. What’s the solution? I have no clue.
I only hope that that I never grow to a point in my life where I spend any real amount of time or energy on something that has ceased to glorify God. I want my whole life, all of my strength, my energy, my thought, to be invested in the cause of Christ and His glory. Right now, I think these sites could be a tool for that purpose, however if Facebook & Twitter cease to meet that goal, I would hope that I would have the guts to shut it down. Until then, if you’re my friend on Facebook, or if you follow me on Twitter, drop me a line. Let’s make this meaningful.
Whoever speaks, is to do so as one who is speaking the utterances of God; whoever serves is to do so as one who is serving by the strength which God supplies; so that in all things God may be glorified through Jesus Christ - 1 Peter 4:11
Photos courtesy of sickfacebook.com
Reader Comments (3)
JONATHAN!!! Loved ths ... loved what you wrote.... always a little bit creeped by people creeping on me on facebook, (ahem) not that I am not guilty of it. Anyways the little mini skit you put in there gave me all sorts of ideas for youth skits... do you think, or would you mind... if I used it??? I work with drama and I just thought man you could really impact.. I like facebook but it can be very superficial and I don't think that the youth these days realize that... thought it would be a good oyouth ministry thing... anyways love what you wrote... let me know... hope you have a good day. P.S.My last name isn't really hyphenated but wasn't sure you would know who i was...lol. Meg
Of course I would know who you were! As far as using it, consider it yours! I'd be interested to see what you come up with.
Loved this Jonathan! I am totally in agreement with you. Meg, can't wait to see this in skit form - WIC 2010?