Alright, so maybe there's no such thing as a "naughty" or "nice" song, but I was trying to fit a Christmas theme and it was the best I could do on short notice.  I love Christmas music, but while there are some that are timeless and beautiful, we're all aware there are a few that don't make the cut and may deserve the proverbial yuletide axe.  Without further ado, my list of Naughty or Nice Christmas Songs.

The Naughty List

Little Drummer Boy:

   Ok, so the spirit of this song is great, I know.  This kid doesn’t have anything of material value so he gives to Jesus the one thing he does have, his ability to beat on a drum.  This is a great message, teaching us that God is asking for our best, and He values things differently than everyone else, but come on!  Put yourself in the original nativity scene for a moment.  Mary is exhausted after giving birth to a baby boy in a stable.  Perhaps this baby has finally drifted to sleep, and everyone is having a quiet of moment of peaceful adoration.  At just this moment, some kid comes along with his poorly made drum, asking to give an extended percussion solo as a gift to the child.  Because as we all know, there is nothing a newborn baby and mother like better than someone loudly banging on a drum during nap time.  I suppose the issue here is whether we give gifts for our benefit or the one receiving the gift.  Maybe both?  Next time kid; write the baby a poem.

I Saw Mom Kissing Santa Claus

   Let me just say I hope that I can someday go a whole December without hearing one Santa song, so I’m already biased against this one.  That being said, what were we thinking?  We’re singing about a kid witnessing his MARRIED MOTHER kissing a BEARDED STRANGER and innocently saying that he hopes dad doesn’t find out.  That’s messed up.  As one guy on Twitter put it, this is a song about a kid learning that celebrities play by different rules than the rest of us.  What a sad, traumatizing tale.  That kid’s going to need counseling.

We Wish You A Merry Christmas

   This song starts out wonderfully; a group of carolers wishing others a merry Christmas and a happy new year.  Sounds unselfish and joyous right?  Well that’s true until the second verse.  Suddenly, this amiable crowd of well-wishers digress into a mob demanding “Figgy Pudding” and demanding it “right here”. 

Now bring us some figgy pudding
Bring us some figgy pudding
Bring us some figgy pudding
And bring it right here!

First of all; figgy pudding?  Really?  Second; you don’t have to be jerks.  Just ask nicely, and you’ll be amazed at what people will do.  Bossy carolers.

The In-Betweens

Have Yourself A Merry Little Christmas

   I love this song.  In fact, it’s probably one of my favorite of the non-carol Christmas songs.  However, it loses some of its luster at one point in the song.  I love the idea of being together with loved ones at Christmas, but when the song says, “In the end we all will be together, if the fates allow”, what does that mean?  First of all, I would think it was ridiculous if it said if fate allows, because I don’t believe in the force of fate, but rather in God.  However, when we say “fates”, it’s more of an allusion to a ancient pagan idea of “gods” guiding history to fit their whims.  What are we, in ancient Rome?  How will I book my plane tickets?  Shall I cut open an animal and examine its entrails for omens?  I’m not sure if Expedia would accept that as a reasonable excuse for cancelling a flight.  Plus, I always feel a little condescending when saying, "Have yourself a merry little Christmas".
 

I Saw Three Ships

   This is a pretty cool song, but what in the world was the writer experiencing?  He claims to have seen, in landlocked Judea I might add, three ships sailing which carried Mary and Jesus.  Why three?  I don’t know.  Why ships?  I don’t know.  Who is this guy who is "seeing" these ships?  I don’t know, but whatever he's smoking, he needs to quit.

Bring A Torch, Jeannette, Isabella

   Great song, but I have a hard time picturing anyone in 1st century Judea being named Jeannette or Isabella.  Just my thoughts.

The Nice List

 O Come, O Come Immanuel

   What a beautiful song that wonderfully captures both the pain and expectation felt by a nation held captive, awaiting a promised Redeemer.  I hope that my life is filled with this same attitude of divine expectation.

O Holy Night

   This song’s first verse and chorus are beautiful, but it gets more majestic and powerful with every subsequent chorus.  “Christ is the Lord!  Oh praise His name forever!  His power and glory evermore proclaim!”  How powerful is that?

What Child Is This
Beside the hauntingly beautiful Greensleaves tune that this song employs are powerful statements like, “This, this is Christ the King”, a statement that rings through history.

Hark The Harold Angels Sing

   The Wesley brothers may have changed history with their powerful preaching, but it was this hymn by Charles Wesley whose triumphant melody and deep theological lyrics have remained a Christmas classic through centuries.

Joy To The World

   "Let every heart prepare Him room!" Enough said.

O Come All Ye Faithful

   I think the chorus, “O come let us adore Him” is among one of the best songs to capture the idea of Christmas as a time of worship.  When the King of kings is present, what choice do you have but to come and bow down in adoration?

  Well, those are my total unsolicited opinions.  Now bring me some figgy pudding!

  I really hope I’m not a shallow person.  Truth be told, I find a good deep conversation to be one of my favorite ways to spend my time, as many of my close friends will tell you.  Unfortunately, there are a whole lot less of those “close friends” than the scores of almost non-existent relationships that I can claim on social sites like Facebook and Twitter.  Sure, these sites have been wonderful for maintaining relationships with people that I would otherwise have difficulty keeping up with due to time or distance.  Before Facebook, these relationships would have fallen to the healthy, natural, “circle-of-life” of friendships.  Those so-called “friends” that you haven’t thought about or talked to for 15 years would have moved on, forming their own healthy relationships and leaving you room in your life for the people that matter to you.  This life cycle has been thwarted by Facebook.  Let’s ask ourselves, “what would this be like outside of Facebook?”  Imagine with me, if you will, the following scenario.

Derek’s phone rings, he interrupts his conversation with his fiancé and answers it.

Derek:  Hello?
Caller: Hey bro, s’up? (turns out this caller is one of those people that uses affectionate "bro terms" waaayy too much)
Derek:  Who is this?
Caller: holla back.
Derek: I did. I said who is this?
Caller:  This is Bryan!!!
Derek:  Bryan who?
Caller: Bryan Kirby!!!!! Your third-best friend in Kindergarten!
Derek:  Oh yeah, I kind of remember that!  What can I do for you, Bryan?
Bryan: Man, just wanted to confirm our friendship.  Just say you’re my friend.
Derek:I haven’t really seen you in a long time, I wouldn’t really consider us “friends”, per se...
Bryan:  Just SAY OK.
Derek: Well, ok... Do you need money or something?
Bryan:  DUDE, check out these pictures of me last weekend!  WASTED!!
Derek:  What pictures?  You know what, never mind, I have no interest in that.  Forget it.
Bryan: No prob, broseph.  Faxing them over right now.
Derek: I really don’t want those
Bryan: I’m coming over!  I’m going to stick them on your wall.  I’ll write something on there too!  It’ll be funny!  No, awesome!  No, no, funny AND awesome!
Derek: Why would you do that?  I don’t want stuff on my walls.
Bryan: Already on my way, brohame!
Derek:  Look, I don’t mean to be rude, but my fiancé is here so...
Bryan:  Oh no problem man, I get your drift.  I’ll phone her next.  We can be friends, because we both know you!
Derek: That’s really not what I meant...
Bryan:  I have 700 friends!!!!
Derek: Good for you.
Bryan:  Want to know which Backstreet Boy I’m most like?  I took a quiz!
Derek: I have no interest in that.
Bryan: Want to know how my fake farm is doing?
Derek: Fake farm?
Bryan: Yes.  It’s awesome.
Derek: No.  Not at all.
Bryan:  Want to join the mafia?
Derek: WHAT?!?!?  No!!  Why would you even ask that?
Bryan: Status Update:  I’m eating the MOST AMAZING cheese crackers EVER!!
Derek: That’s...that’s great.
Bryan:  Do you like that?
Derek: I’m sorry?
Bryan: Why don’t you make a comment about my status?  At least say you like it.
Derek:  I’d rather not.
Bryan:  That was me on Saturday.
Derek:  What are you talking about?
Bryan:  In the grocery store.  I poked you.
Derek:  That was you!?
Bryan: Yep.  You didn’t poke me back.
Derek:  That’s right I didn’t! Look, I'm not o.k. with this, man.
Bryan:  Just letting you know I’m around.  Always around.  Watching you from a distance.  Checking out who your friends are.  Looking at your family pictures.  Always lurking...
Derek:  That’s it.  This is over.
Bryan:  Are you un-friending me?  Not cool man!
Derek: *click*

  You’re right. It would never happen.  At least not without resulting in a restraining order.  The truth is, I like that Facebook and Twitter allow me a way to retain contact with people I never get to see, particularly the friends all over the world that I miss and would love to maintain some degree of a relationship with.  I’m just concerned that there are growing number of people that think they know me, but really don’t.  Most of my current Facebook usage now is merely my Twitter feed being published as a Facebook status update.  If you’re unfamiliar with Twitter, it is a site that allows you to publish your thoughts, limited to 140 characters.  I find this a creative outlet for the funny, random and occasionally meaningful thoughts that I would want to share with my friends.

  Here’s the only problem; there are many people who will know me only through those 140 character thoughts.  When I speak at church or at public events, I’ll often take 30-45 minutes to fully communicate my point when I’m talking about something significant.  What would make me think I could do it in 140 characters?  These are most often very brief thoughts and comments that I might bring up if you and I were taking a walk together.  I would comment on something I saw, make a funny remark here and there, and perhaps bring up a scripture that I’ve really had on my heart lately.  Of course, I would hope that our conversation wouldn’t be limited to those brief comments.  Herein lies the problem.  I don’t want people to assume I live a 140 character life with 140 character thoughts, and go through life thinking of short, witty comments that don’t go too deep past the surface.  My real friends know that, but I’m pretty sure most of my Facebook friends are beginning to think I’m just a guy who makes snarky comments about things I come across.  This is the challenge of our modern social-networking world.  It has greatly broadened our network of relationships.  Unfortunately, with broadening has come a new level of shallowness in those same relationships.  What’s the solution?  I have no clue.

  I only hope that that I never grow to a point in my life where I spend any real amount of time or energy on something that has ceased to glorify God.  I want my whole life, all of my strength, my energy, my thought, to be invested in the cause of Christ and His glory.  Right now, I think these sites could be a tool for that purpose, however if Facebook & Twitter cease to meet that goal, I would hope that I would have the guts to shut it down.  Until then, if you’re my friend on Facebook, or if you follow me on Twitter, drop me a line.  Let’s make this meaningful.

Whoever  speaks, is to do so as one who is speaking the utterances of God; whoever serves is to do so as one who is serving by the strength which God supplies; so that in all things God may be glorified through Jesus Christ - 1 Peter 4:11

Photos courtesy of sickfacebook.com

The Staff Love It!

    Let me explain.  This game, aptly named “Salvation Challenge”, gives each player one million dollars in “Kingdom Cash” with the goal to give it away.  What must you do before you give this cash away?  Why, get saved of course!  Now I realize that you must be on the edge of your seat with one question on your eager mind; “WHAT MUST I DO TO BE SAVED?”  Well it’s really quite a process, so pay attention.  FIRST, you must land on the cross.  Of course.  If you by any chance believe this to be the extent of your obligation in order to be born again, you would be extremely wrong.  Once you’ve landed on the cross, you must say “Jesus Save Me”, and then, and only then will you place a sticker on your forehead, go to the river Jordan to be baptized and be permitted to give $50,000 to the missionary fund.  That’s right, I said place a sticker on your forehead.  While you may be content with simply giving $50,000 to missionaries, don’t forget that the point of this game is to give all of your cash away.  If you want to give more after your dramatic “conversion experience”, then you could “stand up and shout at the top of your lungs, ‘Jesus Save Me’” and you would be able to give $250,000 away.  The third option is much more sinister.  If you refuse to say “Jesus Save Me”, you will proceed to the Deliverance Ministry square and take a card.  Trust me, you don’t want to go to the Deliverance Ministry square.

  Do you think you have the hang of it?  Well hold on one second there, my eager friend.  Here’s the tricky part; blessings are bad.  You’ve read correctly, they are bad news.  It’s really quite logical really, your goal is to give all of your money away.  For someone to “bless” you with a “love gift” works against your goal.  If you make a wrong move in this game, you are in danger of being “blessed” by other players giving you a $20,000 “love gift.  Oh the horror.  Here’s how you, God forbid, could be “blessed”:

• Do not stand up when required.
• Do not clap & rejoice when a player gets “saved”.
• Do not stay silent when a speaker is speaking
• Do not display your money clearly on the table

  Among the highlights are the “Heresy Square” where, when landed upon, all players must shout “HERESY!” before sending the player to the “Deliverance Square”.  The best part is, that this game advertises itself as a game where you can “invite an unsaved friend”.  Because pointing and shouting “heretic” at a potential seeker is one of the best ways to win them over.   Let’s not forget the “Praise and Worship Square” where all “Saved” players must stand up and “sing a short hymn, chorus, or carol to the glory of God”.  Warning; no “unsaved” players may join in.   It would be in your best interest to join in the singing, my friend.  You wouldn’t want to be “blessed”.

   This is just one of many examples of merchandise in the Christian world that many of us would categorize as “cheesy” or “lame”, and we might not be far off.  Scripture socks, Christian chapstick, and movies that shouldn’t have made it to Beta.  As my boss says, “we need to police ourselves” in the products we choose to carry.  Although we admittedly carry products that the staff find less than desirable, there is certainly a line of ridiculousness that we will not willingly cross.  All of these things tempt us to take a position of spiritual snobbery that allows us to view ourselves as somehow more sophisticated in our application of just what products need to be “Christianized”.  The problem is, while a discerning spirit is of great value and there is a definite distaste associated with turning Jesus into a brand, I believe we at times overstep the areas that God has asked us to judge.
  
   A friend of mine once posed the question, smirk affixed on their face, “what would Jesus think of this stuff”, and my immediate reaction was to roll my eyes and scoff.  My next reaction, which should have been my first, was to actually consider the question.  What would Jesus think about this stuff?  On one hand, we can picture Him clearing the temple with a homemade whip, driving the merchants and moneychangers out of the temple.  It’s important to remember, however, that these folks had not only set up in the temple, they were “thieves”.  Their excessive pricing and exchange rates was designed for the single purpose of taking a larger slice of the money that was meant for God.  Blatantly ripping sincere worshippers off did not sit well with our Lord, who was consumed with zeal for the house of God.  It’s easy and even amusing to criticize the makers of some of these Christian products until you go to a trade show and meet them face to face.  Sure, at times it may be a major company producing mass amounts of products, stamping scriptures on a cheaply made product, for which I have little sympathy.  Often, however, it is one or two people who had such a passion to share the good news about Jesus in the best way they know how that they poured their lives into creating an instrument to achieve this goal.  At this point, it becomes increasingly difficult to scoff despite the “cheesiness” of their product.

   I remember how my friend and I laughed without end at the strange experience of seeing the Precious Moments headquarters in Carthage, Missouri after closing time.  After dark, all of those already creepy Precious Moments figures take on a new level of strange.  Upon viewing the chapel, I pitied the men that were forced to be married here and forever be reminded that the greatest day of their life was surrounded by Precious Moments figures.  Would they be able to show the wedding photos without embarrassment?  Just at that moment, a plaque outside the chapel caught my eye.  It was from the creator of the Precious Moments line describing how he hoped this chapel would bring peace and the love of Christ to any who would visit.  Don’t get me wrong, I still thought the place was incredibly amusing, but I also had a new perspective on the man who created it.  He didn’t seem money-hungry or like a man looking to take advantage of unsuspectingly gullible Christians.  This was his way of sharing what he felt inside.  While I still would not want one of the figures in my home, I hold no malice towards them.  Someone enjoys them, and that’s something.

  Back to the question of what Jesus would think, we have to ask why the products or music or websites wouldn’t be cheesy to Him.  Heaven is full of beauty which would outshine our finest pieces of art.  The simplest melody of the angels is surely more complex and perfect than our grandest symphonies.  By those standards, anything we create would fall under heaven’s measure of quality.  If He enjoys our songs, our prayers, our art, then He must look past how dignified, sophisticated, original, or professional our work seems to our untrained eyes.  He must look at the heart of the worshipper, at the core reason that you felt the desire to create.  If we want to become like Him, perhaps it’s time we make a concerted effort to do the same.  Sure, sometimes we must laugh at ridiculous religious merchandise in order to keep ourselves from crying in horror, but perhaps we can also save ourselves from the error of overstepping our authority to judge the heart.  As the apostle Paul so eloquently stated, “What then? Only that in every way, whether in pretense or in truth, Christ is proclaimed; and in this I rejoice.”

   I have to admit that I've never been a big American Idol fan. In my opinion it's glorified karaoke with the exception that by the time you reach the finals, they have removed the three things that make karaoke fun:

1) A Good Chance To Hear Some Really Bad Singing

2) A Chance To Make A Fool Of Yourself

3) A Chance To Watch Your Friends Make Fools Of Themselves

   I'm a little ashamed to admit that I am one of those weak-willed individuals that can't help but stare during audition week when they pull the crazies out of the bin and let them loose on camera for the world to shamelessly laugh at. Sure, some of these people know they're not going to make it and are just leaping at the chance to get on television, but we are all too aware that there are some who have no idea that they are so ill suited for the title of the next American Idol. Many of these poor unintentional jesters stand in their present humiliating position as victims of a friend's attempt at "kindness". How many time do they go on and on about how wonderful their friends and family assured them that they were, despite the insults, protests and eye-rolling so amply supplied by the judges? What do you think about those friends and family? Assuming they weren't completely tone-deaf, did they do the right thing by lying to their loved one, thus giving them hope, however false? Undoubtedly, most of us would see them as well-intentioned cowards who just bought their loved one a ticket to international humiliation and infamy.

   The hard truth of the matter, at least as I see it, is that love does not lie or flatter. Certainly, love does not needlessly put down either, but could it be that love could be encouraging without being false? Even if the loved one in question would love nothing else but to sing, wouldn't true love encourage them to develop, train, and work on their voice until they can reach some level of competence before sending them to the lions? When I was five, I thought I could drive, as I assumed it was simply a matter of wiggling the steering wheel back and forth. Despite my confidence and desire, my father didn't feel that he needed to hand me the keys to the van in order to prove that he loved me, which would have sent me to almost certain death or injury. Instead, I was told to wait until I was old enough, and even then, taught to practice and work with my parents' patient assistance, until I was ready to drive a vehicle safely. That's love.

That's Not Love.

   So here's the question; when we desire for Jesus to instruct us, lead us, even speak to us, why do we assume He's only going to mention the things we're doing right? Is that what we want? If I'm heading down a road that is going to cause me a lot of unfruitful frustration, do I want Jesus to compliment me on my shoulder-checking? I imagine that what I would want, and even need, is that He would instruct me to turn around, and if I still didn't obey, I know that He would love me enough not to apathetically give up, but to raise His voice until I listened.  The scripture tells us that those whom the Father loves, He disciplines.  If you're loved, your going to be disciplined, and let me tell you, you are very loved.  In fact, the New Testament is full of Jesus showing love through some pretty tough words.  He loved His disciples, and in addition to encouraging their faith, He rebuked their unbelief.  He loved the early church, and throughout the epistles, the writers by the influence of the Holy Spirit speak first of the believer's position in Christ by grace, and then correct and sometimes outright rebuke the church so that they will not fall short of their God-given purpose.  Jesus loved the churches in the first chapters of the book of Revelation so much that He praises their successes and points out the areas that need immediate correction, at times with no small degree of force in His tone.

  As one can plainly see, the root word of discipline is disciple.  Discipline's purpose is not pain.  Discipline's purpose is to make disciples, to train us to be like Jesus.  As someone once said, "A tree will not grow under condemnation, it will grow with correction".  When a tree is crooked, you adjust it's growth through methods such as using ropes and stakes, which could be an uncomfortable process if the tree had feelings.  What will not work is trying to make it grow straight by hacking it with an axe.  That will surely kill it.

   We have to realize that God isn't correcting us like some people correct us.  We all know people who tell us what we're doing wrong just to make themselves feel superior, or to reinforce their authority, or even in a vain attempt to mask their own insecurities.   God has no such need to correct us.  He is love.  His only purpose is love.  He doesn't even discipline us out of justice, because the full penalty and wrath earned by our sins was placed on Jesus as He endured the cross.  All that remains is love.  Jesus loves His church and specifically you enough to say the things you don't want to hear.  He loves you enough to use people that you don't necessarily like to say things to you that make you want to hit them because their words rang true.  Because it all comes down to this; some day you will stand before the most important Judge of history and you will not be ashamed.  You will be able to give an account with joy for your life, because the master cared enough to shape you instead of letting you shape yourself as you saw fit.  At that moment, you'll see it clearer than you ever had on the earth.  You were loved.

Three Reasons Why I Wanna Be Like Phil:

1. A Cause Bigger Than Titles

First off, let's address the title issue. If you were called Bob the Evangelist, assuming your first name was Bob, you would kind of feel obligated and perhaps even empowered to "evangelize". I mean, come on, you've got to live up to the name. When I would think of Philip being such a powerful messenger of the Gospel, I would think, "Of course he was, he was Philip the Evangelist! It was built into his name!" Here's the rub; most of the evangelizing we see Philip doing is in Acts 8. The first time we see the title was in Acts 21. Philip did not evangelize because he was called an "evangelist", he was called an "evangelist" because he evangelized! I'm not saying that he made this happen on his own, or that some are not uniquely gifted to carry this task out full-time, but come on, we all know that God has given each believer the power and mandate to spread the Gospel. Philip's title at the time had nothing to do with preaching, but rather as one of the seven appointed to make sure the aid for the poor was distributed fairly. It was in obedience to Christ that he stepped out and began to preach the message where it hadn't been heard, and thereby earn the title, Philip the Evangelist. In today's society so fixated on titles and degrees and everything we put on our door and business cards before we'll agree to even the smallest of tasks, it might be a good idea to follow Philip's example and carry out the mission with or without a title.

2. Unafraid of Cultural Boundaries

Anyone who's known me for any length of time knows that something I spend a lot of time thinking, writing, and speaking about is the need for believers to embrace the call of Colossians 3, and rise to a higher culture than the one we were raised in, enabling us to reach across national and cultural boundaries and truly see no distinction in Christ. In Philip's time, that was easier said than done. Although Jesus had clearly instructed the disciples to start preaching in Jerusalem, spread through Judea, and then hit Samaria and the ends of the earth, it would seem that no one stepped up to the plate before Philip. Philip was one of the Hellenistic Jews that were already kind of looked down upon by the "real" Jews who hadn't embraced the Greek ways and language of the Seleucids as the Hellenistic Jews had to some degree. There was so much prejudice, that the Hellenistic widows were not being taken care of as well as the traditional Jews. Philip was one of seven appointed by the apostles to make this right.

"Now at this time while the disciples were increasing in number, a complaint arose on the part of the Hellenistic Jews against the native Hebrews, because their widows were being overlooked in the daily serving of food. So the twelve summoned the congregation of the disciples and said, 'It is not desirable for us to neglect the word of God in order to serve tables. Therefore, brethren, select from among you seven men of good reputation, full of the Spirit and of wisdom, whom we may put in charge of this task. '" Acts 6:1-3

As the church was scattered after Stephen's death and persecution was ramped up, Philip went down to the much despised Samaritans and began to preach. As he did this, the Luke reports that people were delivered from demonic oppression, paralyzed people were healed, and the lame were able to walk. He experienced such a large degree of success that the apostles came down from Jerusalem to help him preach. After Philip broke this cultural barrier, they apparently had no problem preaching in every Samaritan city on the way home!

"Philip went down to the city of Samaria and began proclaiming Christ to them. The crowds with one accord were giving attention to what was said by Philip, as they heard and saw the signs which he was performing. For in the case of many who had unclean spirits, they were coming out of them shouting with a loud voice; and many who had been paralyzed and lame were healed. " Acts 8:5-7

If that wasn't enough, the most famous story of Philip comes from his conversation with the Ethiopian Eunuch. I'll get into that story to a larger degree in a moment, but first let's analyze the barriers that Philip had to overcome:

"But an angel of the Lord spoke to Philip saying, 'Get up and go south to the road that descends from Jerusalem to Gaza.' (This is a desert road.) So he got up and went; and there was an Ethiopian eunuch, a court official of Candace, queen of the Ethiopians, who was in charge of all her treasure; and he had come to Jerusalem to worship, and he was returning and sitting in his chariot, and was reading the prophet Isaiah. Then the Spirit said to Philip, 'Go up and join this chariot' " Acts 8:26-29

• Philip didn't know this guy!
• This fellow was from a totally different culture. You think black people and white people have trouble communicating today? Try back then!
• This guy was way out of Philip's league as far as class status. Think about it, he was in charge of the Queen of Ethiopia's entire treasury!

3. Phil Got All The Breaks! (Or Did He?)

Let's look at all the things in this story that make us wish God would do for us what he did for Philip, and then see why they may not have been as easy as they seemed.

Break #1: That Ethiopian dude practically did all the work for him!

Let's admit it; sometimes it seems so hard to talk to someone about your beliefs today. Especially when it seems like no one cares about something that it so important to you. Wouldn't you love the opportunity Philip had? He walks up to this guy who just happens to be reading prophecies in Isaiah that are actually about Jesus, and when Philip asks if he understands, he replies, "How could I, unless someone guides me?" ARE YOU KIDDING ME? Why not me? Why does this never happen to me? I drool for such an easy opportunity. Then, the Ethiopian guy reads the passage where Isaiah speaks of the Messiah to come, and asks who he's talking about. REALLY?!? WHY NOT ME?!? If that weren't enough, when Philip speaks to him about Jesus, he actually says, and I kid you not, "Here's some water, what's to stop me from being baptized?" I can't take it anymore! If this happened to me, I would be leading TONS of people to Jesus.

Truth Behind the Break #1:

Let's not forget that Philip was not on this road by chance. He had no business on this road. He was told by an angel to go to the road that descends from Jerusalem to Gaza. Chew on this; that road was quite a long way south of Samaria, and once there it was a 50 mile road. He wasn't told where on this road to go, and so he just had to start walking, not knowing how far he'd have to go down this 50 mile road. Then comes the killer line in verse 26: "This was a desert road". No pit-stops, oasis, or guarantee of personal safety here. Just a long road, and a voice telling him to walk it. All the cool stuff happened because he walked down a desert road for no other reason than he was told. Then when he saw the chariot with the strange man who was way out of his class in a chariot, God told him to run to it, and he ran, fearless.

Break #2: He got translated from one place to completely different place in a blink!

As soon as this eunuch fellow is baptized, God snatches Philip away and drops him in an entirely different place! This is one of the coolest stories in the whole Bible! Not only did Philip talk about this experience, but apparently the eunuch backed it up, as Luke tells us his side of the story too. It's pretty hard to fake a disappearing act on a desert road in first century Judea.

Truth Behind the Break #2:

  It's hard to see this one as anything but cool except for one sticky detail; once God snatched him away, He didn't put him in Caesarea, where he needed to go.  He put him in Azotus, a city 60 miles from Caesarea.  Come on God!  I know this translation thing is kind of a new deal, but couldn't you have tested first?  You're a bit off, and that's a long walk!  As you probably know, God doesn't make mistakes.  Philip didn't complain, or whine that he was pretty far from his destination, but in true evangelist fashion, picks up on God's point, and preaches in every city on that 60 mile stretch.  Phil's my hero.  Apparently God was not doing this for convenience, but rather for opportunity.

Conclude It Already!

  I want to be the guy that goes where no one else cares to go.  I want to be fearless enough to forget about who I am just long enough to remember who my Savior is and know that He transcends boundaries.  Finally, I know I'll experience the cool stuff, if I'm willing to start walking, then running, always preaching.

1) This site is not indexed by Google.  If you were to search for this site, even using the exact web address, Google will tell you that it does not exist.  Why, you ask?  Because the man has it out for me.  Sure, my site meets all the quality guidelines as laid out by Google.  I mean, when Freako McGee with his NAMBLA fan site can get his page fully indexed and even cached by Google, can they actually stand there and claim they have standards at all?  The man has it out for me.  If you are reading this now, it is because you have followed a direct link or heard of it by word of mouth, and thusly I regret to inform you, the man has it out for you too.  I am greatly sorry, but you are now in the same boat as me.  You poor sap.

2) When looking at my beautiful city on Google Earth, search for my address if you happen to know it.  Do you know what you will find?  A patch of dirt.  That's right, a patch of undeveloped, uncared for dirt.  Google  has wiped the memory of my home from it's servers.  Oh, how long is the reach of the tyrant?  Don't look now, but they're probably wiping your home from the map as well.  We've been Cheney-ed.  Why?  The man has it out for me, and now the man has it out for you too.  I deeply apologize.  You should have never have gotten involved.

3) I've said too much already.

   What did I do to incur the wrath of this modern-day Goliath?  I have no clue.  The only thing I can surmise is that I used Bing once.  Actually, twice.  Honestly, I was just curious.  Apparently Google punishes disloyalty with fervor.  Now, I suppose I must be resigned to live in the shadow of their wrath.

I better get going.  The man has it out for me.

ps. I'm not actually a conspiracy theorist.  I'm just having fun with the whole thing.  I do however want to be on Google!!

Update:

 You can now find this site on Google.  You cannot, however, see my house!

   To briefly explain the somewhat cryptic site name, sixnotes.com, I'll have to relay a short story.  I had been thinking about the power and beauty that lies in simplicity.  Not simplicity that is lacking because it is somehow incomplete, but rather a simplicity that appears simple because it cannot be improved with more clutter.  Just think of all that God has created in nature.  How simple does a clear stream running through a mountain pass seem?  Yet we all know that the delicate ecosystems held in this scene alone are infinitely complex.  I thought about the one song that is instantly recognizable to millions of people, and has been for centuries.   This song is Amazing Grace, and can be instantly recited in numerous languages by many believers and non-believers alike.  Yet with all the theological truth and lyrical beauty held in this one song, it is actually quite simple.  The entire melody is made up of the arranging of six notes, yet in those notes is carried an eternal truth.  I want to sing those songs, write those words, and live a life that can be described as deep, complex, yet undeniably simple.  A life defined by my relationship with a God who is intricate beyond our comprehension, worthy of more description and honor than our languages can provide, but can still be defined one word, Love.